bah. FML

It's gotten to the stage where I'm averaging a panic attack a day now. Which is not fun. I keep missing, dinners and coffee and things i wanna do. I'm sorry to those who i have bailed on last minute. the angst is hard-core and unreasonable. I keep doing things like, passing out as I go to leave the house, or the fear sets in.
last night i got to the door, bag packed, a dolled up, ready to enjoy some people time. I freaked. I couldn't breath. I miss my friends. I could not work out how to work my phone. i just could not do it. I feel like a jerk when i can't make social gatherings. espeshialy when i think i can untill the last minute.

I left the house today. had a near miss with Mr, Panic. well a few near misses. but I coped. It was nice. So was Tuesday at Rachel's. it was really nice.

I'm also forgetting to eat at the moment. Just not hungry. At all.

Well that's all I've got for now. Will try and write a more detailed entry soon. Maybe.

New Hair!!!!

that is all.

Last night - lathargic to hyper in the space of a few minutes.

I cooked an epic dinner last night. Then consumed it in such a manner that I bought on the awesome that is the FOOD COMA. So instead of doing all those things I said I'd do, like go out for a ride, or even call people, I sat in the artificial warmth, vegged out, and giggled at rpts of 'Big Bang Theory'. At about 11ish my brain switched back on and i want a little spastic.

so out I ventured out to the Town Hall Hotel. I loath calling it the townie. I proceeded to get some what rambunctious in the mostly empty pub. Dancing with Grace to 'shake it' by outcast. Being laughed at by the bartenders and other drunks. We talked the fail of boys, our passive aggressive reactions to them, and why we should get pissed together more often. You know, like the good old days when we could afford it.

Goodtimes.

Got home and wrapped myself up with the Internets and fell asleep to the not-so-warm glow of my computer screen.

A good night to be sure.

The joys of the Sunday morning photo shoot.

Well, there really aren't any. Unless you count the fact that a bunch of TrashBags are all up before 2 pm on a Sunday, and therefor delirious with lack of sleep and the affects of whatever they poisoned themselves with the night before. then you have some funny pain, apposed to outright joy.

All in all i did in fact have a hoot, dolling 3 of my vaguely strait male friend up in ridiculous drag. their initial awkwardness made the lack of sleep bearable. The moment i have photos, I will of course share.

Hot fucking DAMN am i tired.

Placating myself with large grease breakfast post shoot was a damn fine idea. At this point i really think it is nanna-nap time. So i bid the good day, or in the words of the band - fuck off and die.

SD

appoligies for crappy image, but i gives you a link.

I get angry like this.

WANT

insperation for that shell.

came from here.

best nerdy comic ever

ah luv. <3