bah. FML

It's gotten to the stage where I'm averaging a panic attack a day now. Which is not fun. I keep missing, dinners and coffee and things i wanna do. I'm sorry to those who i have bailed on last minute. the angst is hard-core and unreasonable. I keep doing things like, passing out as I go to leave the house, or the fear sets in.
last night i got to the door, bag packed, a dolled up, ready to enjoy some people time. I freaked. I couldn't breath. I miss my friends. I could not work out how to work my phone. i just could not do it. I feel like a jerk when i can't make social gatherings. espeshialy when i think i can untill the last minute.

I left the house today. had a near miss with Mr, Panic. well a few near misses. but I coped. It was nice. So was Tuesday at Rachel's. it was really nice.

I'm also forgetting to eat at the moment. Just not hungry. At all.

Well that's all I've got for now. Will try and write a more detailed entry soon. Maybe.